The Yell School of Drama

"In my sex fantasy, nobody loves me for my brain"
--Nora Ephron.

My writing collaborator and I have discovered that the most common path to production for first-time playwrights is to enter sponsored drama competitions. Unfortunately, many of them like The Alliance Theater in Atlanta's Kendeda Competition require that entrants be enrolled in a graduate playwriting program.

This is not an option for us. We have seven children between us, not to mention a stack of superfluous diplomas. My colleague has an MBA, CPA, cooking school diploma and divemaster certification. Ironically, the latter two degrees have proven the most useful in our writing adventures. As for me, no more diplomas, thank-you-very-much. Graduating from Wellesley College Phi Beta Kappa, with an Honors degree in English literature couldn't even get me an $18,000 a year publishing job in New York back in 1994. My Universite de Paris DEA (Masters) in Comparative Literature was worse than having no graduate degree at all. This testimony of impracticality was guaranteed to send would-be employers packing.

I suppose none of this would matter if I were a clever, resourceful sort of girl.... In my most recent employment experience as the Director of Communications for JBoss, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to convince journalists to write about us and paying talented full time PR to do just this. It never occurred to me that I could skip that superfluous step by simply pretending to be a journalist. Not only would I have saved money, I would have done away with the inconvenience of relying on two credible sources for my stories. In a crazy mixed up world where legitimate journalists pretend to be anonymous bloggers, I missed the boat on corporate PR pretending to be disinterested journalists.

Ironically, it was my old Wellesley tee-shirt that initiated a conversation about journalism with another mother, while we were waiting to pick up our kids at school. She, herself, had attended Barnard, and then Columbia School of Journalism. She mentioned that the loans for two years at the latter totalled more than her four years at Barnard. My wiser pseudo-journalist self certainly would have skipped that step. I could get more mileage out of a fake pair of tits. I came to this conclusion observing first-hand the successful interview tactics of a journalist from a respected business publication. Her plunging decollete exerted a Kaa-like effect on her interviewees--"Don't think about the questions, boys; just focus on these." No doubt she had figured out the corresponding plunge in the heterosexual male IQ, transforming the heppest and smartest Web 2.0-types into this.

Thankfully, my certificate of enrollment in a Masters program in the Fine Arts is being mailed to me, forewith. Not the Yale School of Drama, but the Yell! (in the South, this is pronounced 'yay-ul') School of Drama, my distinguished soon-to-be alma-mater, a place that understands that the implication that I am anything less than talented flies squarely in face of the incipient dramatist I was born to be. And that for the $200 I am paying for my diploma, I am far too busy and important a person to be bothered with studying the techniques of playwriting or reading anybody that has mastered them.

Comments

Knox Massey said…
Howdy,
Just a quick note. (I swear I am not sensitive to Southern dialect faux pax(s)).

Yell in the South is actually pronounced "ye-hl". Sort of a short burst of energy from the midsection when spoken. "Yay-ul" is what Opie says on the "Andy Griffith Show". Just dont want you to get in troble with any Yankees when you are "yay-uling" at them. Otherwise, a lovely blog.

-A Native Guy
Nathalie said…
Hi ata, thanks for the dialect coaching. Believe it or not, I'm a multi-generation Atlantan. Since Atlanta probably hasn't qualifed as part of the South since the sixties, I have no (regional American) accent, myself.

I picked the pronunciation because I have an uncle named Miguel, whose name (apparently) used to be pronounced "Mee-gay-ul," when he was growing up here in the sixties.

There are quite a few Southern accents, I was thinking this one might fit South Ga., but I may be off the mark.
Nathalie said…
For all ya'all Southern linguists, the final word on "yell" from my cousin, Sophie B. Gatins.

"I think you’re totally correct in your pronunciation, especially once you specify that yay-ul would be native to South Georgia. That is exactly how my mother, hailing from Valdosta Georgia, pronounces the word yell. I wish you were here right now because I do an excellent imitation of her.

I think that the commentator’s correction seems to bring to mind a more red-necky southern image than I associate with my mom and the rest of the Bird clan. I think of a higher voiced, higher energy Southerner when I hear (in my head) the word ye-hl. Imagine a speeding pickup truck with 3 guys in the back ye-hling that they need to stop for more beer (but say beer like it’s a little gun in a video game…short and staccato). Contrarily, mom’s family would wend their way slowly toward you on a tractor and say that perhaps they’re in the mood for a bayer (not the heart attack preventing drug)."
Anonymous said…
日本成人影音視訊聊天室無碼A片 免費高速下載限制級無碼電影下載偷窺自拍貼圖片區岡琦美女 A片下載無碼a片下載080視訊辣妹聊天室免費a長片線上看BT情色下載論壇大奶妹做愛影片後宮成人電影下載洪爺bt電影下載3P牛奶妹無碼影片分享章子怡寫真集777成人區無碼口交顏射短片分享日本美女寫真集xxx383美女寫真童顏巨乳美女圖片性愛自拍貼圖片本土自拍貼圖天堂本土a片下載口交 肛交 內射 無碼影片下載環球影音城玩美女人影音秀ET成人文學AV女優王國18禁地少女遊戲無碼肛交影片下載波波線上遊戲網海綿寶寶小遊戲愛愛成人影片下載av女優電影下載美女短片免費試看熟女人妻無碼電影分享楓之谷小遊戲台灣18成人網人妻熟女三級片正妹潮吹影片分享成人動畫免費看多人雜交 肛交 顏射飲精系列小弟弟貼影片小潘潘寫真圖片美臀長腿絲襪影片下載亂倫熟女情色網小弟弟貼影片區jp成人小弟弟貼片麗的娛樂網只有貼圖區月宮貼 - 情色貼圖區成人卡漫18百分百成人貼圖片區一葉情成人貼圖片區成人卡通頻道西洋成人貼圖片區成人免費貼圖片區100one百萬成人貼電影夜未眠成人影城成人文章 免費分享區a38av383影音城微風成人區成人影音live秀女優王國亞洲成人圖片區徐若瑄寫真集限制寫真女郎內衣模特兒寫真莉亞迪桑寫真集卡通a片下載情色免費成人小說18成人av影城波波情色貼圖免費成人圖片區成人圖貼站豆豆成人交友聊天室網際 情色 論壇貓貓 論壇捷克 論壇大眾 論壇ng綜合論壇台灣情色網論壇熊貓成人圖片173影音live秀亞洲風暴情色論壇hilive tv免費電影小魔女成人貼圖曼雪兒免費小說美女情色視訊聊天室免費影音視訊聊天室sogo情色論壇 - 成人色情論壇微風成人短片區小魔女自拍天堂亞洲禁果影城熊貓貼圖成人夜色影音分享完美女人影音網嘟嘟成人網飯島愛寫真集圖片0401免費影音視訊redtube影片下載咆哮小老鼠QQ美美色情文學網QQ美美色網QQ美美色色網QQ便利聊天室QQ美美色情小說QQ美美色情遊戲QQ便利AV - 美美色網影片咆嘯小老鼠 成人影片論壇咆哮小老鼠成人分享論壇
Anonymous said…
85cc免費影城85cc免費影片免費 a 片台灣論壇免費影片線上免費a片觀看85cc免費影片線上觀賞a片免費看免費A片A片-sex女優王國免費卡通影片線上觀看小魔女免費影城免費看 aa的滿18歲影片免費a片卡通sex888影片分享區520sex貼片區sex520免費影片免費色咪咪影片網免費影片下載aaaaaa片俱樂部成人a影片論壇aaa片免費看短片後宮0204movie免費影片gogo2sex馬子免費影片免費線上a片aaa片免費看短片sex888免費看影片免費 a 片aaa的滿18歲卡通影片免費線上avdvdaaaa彩虹頻道免費影片sexdiy影城aaaa 片俱樂部sex520免費影片85cc成人影城洪爺影城免費線上歐美A片觀看彩虹頻道免費影片免費卡通影片線上觀看臺灣情色網線上免費a長片浪漫月光論壇 sex383線上娛樂場dudu sex免費影片 杜蕾斯成人bbs x693 com sex888sogo 成人論壇plus論壇sex520免費影片sex999日本美女寫真集sex888 freebbs hk85cc免費影片微風成人av論壇亞洲免費影片線上直播日本 avdvd 介紹免費觀賞視訊情色遊戲sexdiy影城免費成人視訊一本道 a片 東京熱情色影片免費影片下載asex888免費看影片論壇sex888movie影城情色小說本土辣妹34c影片直播吉澤明步免費a片av080免費試看免費aa片試看sex888 freebbs hk卡通美女a片免費試看aa的滿18歲影片a 免費影片觀賞aaa免費看影片aaaaa片俱樂部影片5278論壇免費影片觀賞av博物館sex383線上娛樂場日本 avdvd 介紹免費觀賞avdvd無碼情色電影sexy girl video movie亞洲禁果影城卡通aa片免費看383movie成人影城ut13077視訊聊天aio性愛dvd辣妹影片直播金瓶影片交流區免費a片卡通hilive tv 免費電影彩虹頻道免費短片台南援交友留言彩虹頻道免費短片aio交友愛情館a 免費影片觀賞

Popular posts from this blog

$6.66B for BEA: Larry goes Shopping

Thug vs Thug: Porsche 1, Hedge Funds: 0

Quickies #3, protecting IP in OSS