Thank God for Drum Machines


I'll tell you,

mixing Rock and Trance is a cow. For a simple technical reason that I want you all to grok.

See, when you load a song in a digital DJ program, the first thing it will do is to try and calculate the beats. If you look at the envelope of a song you can sort of guess the peaks and those peaks usually correspond to beats. Most modern song will have a regular drum structure, due to the use of electronic beat machines. Assume a song is perfectly tempo'ed and your program will easily detect "130BPM" or "Beats per Minute". Your program will use this information to "beat match" whatever record you are trying to mix in. The result is seamless mixes.

That is the theory, and it is based on the assumption that the beat is regular THROUGHOUT the song. That statement is true with modern dance music, since the beats are synthetic, but absolutely NOT TRUE of most rock and roll where, unfortunately, humans are involved in creating the rythm :)

It seems that the dudes back then couldn't keep a steady beat to save their lives! In all fairness, it is probably REALLY hard to keep a beat. Since the drummer sets the pace for every other musician, well, there it is.

I have been mixing "Suspicious minds", not the King's version but the "Fine Young Cannibals" version which is a great cover, with stuff you have never heard before and probably will never hear in unless you show up to "El Bar" tonight for my first gig :) The problem with the kids in suspicious minds is that they get ALL EXCITED about the song. Add in a breakbeat and it all goes to hell in seconds.

So the song starts at 128 (more or less) and the kid on drums looses it midway on a downdrum , tries to find his way home like a coakroach on his back and finishes at 135 all sweaty and stuff. It is funny to see this in wave form because you can see the peaks go completely go sideways compared to a steady beat. Sometimes they match the steady rythm of the modern song, but mostly they are ALL OVER THE MAP, in front and in the back.

It is kind of funny actually. You know something they don't. You know EXACTLY where and when they screwed up. The worse is when ANY DRUMMER goes "ratatatata", effectively doubling whatever crap he is playing. They ALWAYS SERIOUSLY LOSE IT at that point. Even freaking INXS looses it at that point in "Original Sin". See, the songs usually sound fine and if you listen you will barely notice it, but if you MIX IT then it is a mess.

The worst offenders on my book so far? the FREAKING DOORS MAN! I never really liked them anyway. I always there were posers, but I am probably wrong in my taste on that one. That dude with the hair on his chest and the pout like he is some kind of gift to weeeemen really gets on my nerves. I can't even remember his name.

Also they were probably drunk. So they can't keep a beat or whatever for more than 30 seconds. They don't even play together! They go fast, they go slow, they slouch, they miss, their off their own beat, they drool on the drums, the guy is singing in his corner all by himself caressing his pecs and the guitar is NOT EVEN in rythm, it is harsh on a techno ear.

Aaaarf, whatever they were smoking back then... I don't want any. Iiiiirk! In fact the only way I have been able to mix the doors with anything modern is by limiting the damage to 4 second loops, after that it becomes obvious that the mix is a fraud. So you can hear "this is the end, this is the end, this is the end" and when I let go and it reaches "my only friend the end" the beat is all wasted. Luckily you can adjust the pitch real time, with the left and right button arrow. This way you can nudge the song in the right direction but it is CONSTANT work. Well at least the DJ's in the past were masters at beat matching and more importantly KEEPING in beat. My hats off to them, you go crazy on that stuff.


Ok, enough good times. The one guy that doesn't embarass himself back from that dinausor epoch is in fact Prince (hence the picture). He seems to be using beat boxes and drum machines. Even on complex melodies like "when doves cry" or "controversy" the dude is steady and you can cut out the sentences like they were buttaaaa. Thank God for musical geniuses in the early 80's. It is a relief to listen to him.

It's 3Am, and I laughing all by myself, I thought I would share. I am going to wake up my 3 mo old and Nathalie is going to kill me. I need to catch some sleep before tomorrow's gig anyway :)

Peace, Love and Steady Beats.

marcf

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